kate

... NEW LJ!

www.livejournal.com/users/x_temperxtemper

go to it.
read it
i will no longer be posting on here.
long story.
we won't be getting into that.
i love you.

wonderful wonderful
everythings going so badly...

.kate.

Body: Girls: If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys: Grab it if it happens more than once.

Girls: When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold
Guys: Automatically move closer to her.

Girls: During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys: Lift her chin up and kiss her.


Guys: When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.


Girls: When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys: Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. 

i want 10... no 12....
nope just one will do

so i'm going crazy of boredom. ever since my dad told me he'd take me steffne and ryan to the show, things have been going so slow. so i told a boy i like him today... that tured out better then i thought it would.... no details thou. and i'm not doing anything about it//him for now cause that's just me. have a wonderful night everyone<3

we did something that might have hurt someone else.
dating boys sucks...
i knew it would happen... specially today it sucks.
tomoro there is a show.

fallen before us
@ the fellowship
in kenosha...
everyone is going...
me
steffne
ryann
ryan
dana
leah
... more random kids i have yet to meet


and no i'm not telling you who it is...
so get off my fucking case.
what are you my mother? lol
ILY ALL!

so i decided i like a boy.
no names.
no descriptions.
i've already told one too many people (3)
and don't intend on telling anymore.
i don't want him to ever find out.
cause i have no chance.
no matter what him or anyone else says.
but omigoshomigoshomigosh
there is no comparison to what i'm thinking.
omigoshomigoshomigosh
i'm sad thou cause i have no chance.
this boy... is ... and i'm... oh dear.

PS: kiki we need to do something soon
it's driving me crazy that we're not.
&& panic's not sold out.
let me kno if you're gonna be in town.

PPS: to anyone. i need to borrow a camera.
i'm wanting pic's for MS w//o my hair done.
cause i felt pretty today and couldn't show the world.
that was heartwrenching...
so's what i wrote above.


'the world waits for no one.'
... do you guys think i have a chance?

so...
it's like 10:30PM... never got to talk to travis.
didn't get to see him afterschool.
i'm talking to my friend alex from MS and he's overly amusing.
he writes more then a sentence on AIM and we have whatnots in common.
no i'm not into him. long distance relationships and me= not good.
we've deff. learned that the hard way because of mr. tom... but w//e.

it's still valentines day and i'm sorry but travis cannot pull anything off if he really wants to. i mean:
1) asking me out
2) formal
3) valentines day
i swear if i don't see him on sunday, i'm gona kill something. like i was saying earlier, we're scheduling this week... this is what i've come up with... semesters 1&&2
sem1: sem 2:
ADV Eng Survey II ADV eng. survey II
boilogy biology
geometry geometry
CP World History Cp world history
Lifeguard training//Phy ED Adv. Clothing Tech
Beg 2D draw Paint Adv. 2D draw// paint
Spanish 1 Spanish 1
Lunch (somewhere in there) all year cause i eat food.

so, yea i'm gonna try to be a lifeguard, but since i'm a fucking weakling... i dunno if i'll be able to next year. my training is tomoro:
20 laps in the pool non stop
&&
i have to carry a 10LB brick w// my head above water for i think 2 laps or something... IDK
w/e i could train w// the swim teacher, still join swim team, and then LGtrain JR year and be done w/ that. so i've got that one set out.

oh jeeze... i'm tired.
but i don't wanna sleep. mostly cause i kno i won't be able to right now.
i have problems sleeping.
it makes me sad.
=[
that's my face.
but i'm gonna go.
have a wonderful rest of the night.
<3
.katti.

so today is valentimes day
and i've had a lot on my mind lately.
i've mostly been bored, but whatever.
scheduling is this week and i'm a little stressed.
i hate it how they expect us to take 1 day and decide what we want to do.

but do you kno the truth of the matter?:
none of those sheets even matter.
we fill out a bubble sheet at the end of the week and that's what determines our classes, teacher's signatures or not. yep. so they're just being all 'do this. do that.' cause they don't think we'll ever figure it out just cause we're freshman or something. gosh that's so lame, in my opinon.

anyways, there's so much i could be talking about right now. like... i dunno the fact that it's valentimes day and i actually have a boyfriend for once. and then i have kiki who is deffinately one up on him... c'mon i mean we had a countdown today and her and her mom and that one guy who i cannever renember his name... but he's amusing.

so i'm sad cause i didn't get to go to youth group w/ kiki today because we decided it would be a good idea to go to the laundromat so i had clean clothes... i was running out and wound up wearing the pink skirt thats wayy too small for me. it's sad, yea i kno, but now all my clothes are clean.

so i'm hoping to god that my dad lets me go to the panic! concert and i'm hoping to god even more that it's not sold out. cause if it is, i think i'm gonna have to cry... cause i wanna go see them. but if not then i'll have to go to taste of chaos... which is a little more expensive but i can deal. i wanna go to panic! so i can dress up and so kiki can come with me cause we both <3 hellogoodbye with an undying burning passion and acceptance is good and i <3 panic... with every fiber of my being.

so i came home today and my house was locked... again. i'm serious, my dad is being such an airhead lately. and my sister and brother... osh... it's annoying how lazy they are sometimes. my dad says that my sister has a lot of my mom's qualitys: lazy, procrastination and whatnot. extremely bossy... it's true thou. she only does things if
1) it somehow benifits her
2) if she's forced

so i'm kind of pissed about that. i'm overly emotional most of the time, so i started crying today cause i do more than anyone around here and my sister seems to get more then me. she just had her room redone, she got a new comp. stand (prolly 200$) and a new TV stand (prolly about 100$) and i got nothing. i've got the smallest room in my house, my dad redecorated without letting me help and everything is fucking gay. and if he doens't take me and kiki to that concert (if she's in town) then i dunno... i'll cry..

i think that ryan might be coming with us. i want to get some more kids to go, but if i dont, me and kiki (if she's in town) are just as good. every time i've ever been to the rave (twice) i was with kiki. she's my big sho buddy. that's what she is... one more good use for the cloning device (she's pink... oh she's pink)

but i think that's all for now. i hate much more i could be writing that i think i'm just gonna end it there and call it a night, mhk? <3

Friend: would bail you out of jail
Best friend: would be sitting next to you sayin "we stomped the FUCK outta that bitch!!"


Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in privately when your not still down.


Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food


Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: have you on speed dial


Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."


Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...


Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: Will kick the shit out out of the whole crowd that left you.


Friends: would knock on your front door
Best friends: walk right in and say "I'M HOME"


Friends: you have to tell them not to tell anyone
Best friends: They already know not to tell


Friends: are only through highschool
Bestfriends: They are for life


Friends: will be there to take your drink
away from you when they think you've had enough
Best Friends: will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste"

Friends: will ask you if you're ok after you puke in the bathroom
Best Friends: will hold your hair for you, help you home, wipe the puke off your chin, and laugh like hell the next day when you ask "what the fuck happened"

 

hey guys... thanks.<3

so tonight is deffinately formal and i'm bored as all fucking hell. waiting isn't really my thing. but w/e w//e i'll deal with it. here are me and emily//boo's plans for tonight:

1) i'm going to my moms around 330 to get my hair done, get ready and take a bunch of pictures that will more or less never get printed out...

2) emily is going to come over and we're going to take more pictures that will once again never get printed out but might get scanned for all you lame asses to see (i really love you all<3)

3) we are then going to get over to mike and angelos (a brilliant food place... mostly pizza but i dunno what we're gonna get... prolly pizza thou)... and we're going to be there for a few hours all by our lonesome cause people made other plans... it was going to be a big group of people, but no. and we're okay with that. just me and my boo thats what i'm saying, right?!

4) we are then going from mike and angelos over to the dance where we will get geek'd, krunk, and any other ghetto fun word you wanna throw in there until 10... it's gonna be so fucking awsome. everyone who is anyone (except for the few that are still anyones that aren't going) are gonna be there. it's gonna be so fucking awsome (said that again to emphasize how much fun it's gonna be)

5) then at 10, my daddy is picking me && emily up and we're gonna go spend the night at my house and hopefully kiki will too cause that would be so cool cause i <3 kiki with all of my heart and soul (sorry to make you blush again =))

... that's about all for my night.
i'm tired right now, and i kind of have to clean my room.

i had a dream w// lane in it last night. i was on the phone with him and we were talking about being jousters or something... i don't renember. but it was wayy to overly ammusing. so i might go and call him a little later, prolly not thou, i dunno why but i don't call lane much, i prolly should. awe. oh. well.

talk to you all later.<3<3<3
.katti.

so kurt only wanted to go out with me cause he thought he could get in my pants.
you kno what else? travis wanted to go out with me.
but i had to say 'no' cause i was dating kurt...

well, me and kurt broke up. long story, if you wanna kno for some reason, IM me (XhxcXhxxkerX) and i'll tell you all about it cause i'm too fucking lazy right about now.
so anyways...
i decided to have teagan ask out travis, then i did it myself just to make sure everything was accordingly. anywho, now me and travis go out... again, and i'm pretty happy cause he's awsome and isn't a douche` to me. he's one of the few i enjoy talking on the phone to, so i'm sorry to all of you i don't talk to very much.

travis wasn't able to get a ticket for formal.
kiki isn't able to go to formal...
kallie wasn't able to get the money to emily.
neither was mike...
gabby isn't going either.
sam is going w// justin (awe)
stephanie is gonna hang w// kelli...
so it's just me and my boo EMILY.
justin and sam are going to dinner w// us thou.


i'm exmited either way thou cause i've never been to a big dance and kiki promised me that we're gonna go to homecoming together. lol. we're gonna get so geek'd. lol. and i'm going over to gabby's house next weekend cause she's not going to formal and we're gonna have an anti-formal party and we're all dressing up and going hxc dancing somewhere in her house. i think that's gonna be so fucking cool. travis said he's gonna find a way to make it up to me that he isn't going... he hasn't figured that one out either, but i think he'll get something mildly interesting.<3

so me and emily might be going midnight bowling w// bob and a few of his friends, i dunno. i'm asking him about that right now. i dunno. i've never gone midnight bowling before. it's about 10$ and i have no more moneys really so i dunno if we'll be able to pull that off very well...

kiki has gotten me obsessed with yellowcard. it's more then overly amusing. but w/e... i love them so much now. they're great. i don't care what people say about them. they rock my ugly socks that i dont' even wanna be wearing... but then saying 'YC rocks my feet' just doesn't sound the same, does it? nope i didn't think so.

well i think that's all i need to write. i hope everyone has a wonderful night... cause i'm having a good day so far.<3<3<3
katti...


PS... kiki we're so going to hellogoodbye...

so... today was deffinately that of an interesting one, if you kno what i mean...
which you obviously don't cause if you did, i wouldn't have to be writing this to you, eh?
so yes... today is december 31, 2006...
officially one year since... something... interesting happened.
only one other person has renembered what today is... and that one person is corbin thomas nikolaus... and you kno why? cause it has to do w// him. it deffinately has to do w// him. today last year, me and cori both lost our virginity... well, technically i didn't, but he deffinately did. and yes, this was to eachother if you haven't noticed. so today is pretty big for me. i don't kno why. mostly because all month, we've been mentioning it to eachother and the more i think about it, the more i have to think about him and bla.
today, i asked him if he loved me and he wanted to kno why i've been asking him that so much. honestly, i've had no idea why. i guess just because. but a real reason dawned on me today. i told him he better figure it out soon... and i guess that confused him. apparently, he doesn't really think i could think of a good reason for him to figure it out? i mean, honestly, anything could work.
so i told him he might want to figure it out soon because eventually i woulnd't be around. the world knows that i would drop almost everything to be with cori. i dunno why either. most of our 2 year relationship completely sucked. but, i dont' kno... i guess it's just our way of knowning certain things when we decide to do certain things... damn those certain things?
but seeing him with cassy... knowing what he said about her today was just painful to kno that he's going to do something as stupid as date her when he has no interest just because he can't find anyone else. i don't kno. we don't talk about getting back together. it's best like that.
i think that i'm going to go, thou. i have shit i need to do.

and kiki, since i kno you'll prolly read this:
thank you for letting me borrow the skirt//straitener.
you are my hero...
this goes along w// the cloning thing...
**betcha your face is pink now**

PS... everybody: i love kurtis frievalt. he is my interst.
g'nite.
<3katti

ohk. so i found out today that i can't go to winter formal with my boyfriend cause he's in 8th grade. how fucked up is that? i mean, seriusly, i was doing pretty well. then today BAM! i can't even go with my boyfriend to my first actual dance. my dad finally said he would buy the dress for me and kurt even thinks i look good in it and now he and i can't go. you kno what else this means? emily and chad can't go cause chad, as well, is in 8th grade. so, you kno what we're going to do? we're gonna beat the system cause we fuckers think we're above the law, mostly cause we are cause the law isn't really shit for me. i am going to con cory (chad's brother) into letting me borrow his old school ID cause they ish-lookalike. and kurt is going to peel off the plastic whatnot (it has a name... LAMINATION... there we go) and use white out or some shit and change the 8 to a 9 on the grade and that should work. if not. then i'm either going to somehow blackmail the school or i'm not going to go with kurt (uh...no) so that's about all i got on that.

the good news is that i got some ammusment out of yesterday's trip to the mall... actually a few things ammused me... and one completely blew me away:
1) i got a new shirt, tons of bobby pins, 3 new underpants, and some earings (all thanks to my lovely quinn)

2) we got kurtis in size 2 girl pants. not to anyone's surprise, they were too big. he'd prolly fit into 1's or 00. omgomgomg i wanted to start drooling. it was the greatest thing in the world. when doug wore girl pants to the halloween dance @ walden, i thought it couldn't get any better, but NOPE! it did. omgomgomg i wanted to melt. it was depressing cause he hated them cause he looked so fucking good.

3) i spent the night at quinn's house w// gracie and tay, finally got that nickname i've always wanted (i've been complaining cause i don't have a cutsie nickname)... it be Mae. we took all of our middle names and did something clever with them:
emily grace: gracie
kattie marie: mae
katie taylor: tay
jacqueline: quinn (ok, so we didn't use her middle name, whatever)

i wasn't sposed to go to jackies, but i did anyways cause teagan decided to have amanda over instead, completely last minute, so i just went with them. then we went to the mall and i got to see kurt <3 so i was happy. i don't kno if i'm gonna be able to go to the mall tomoro, but today, hopefully, jackie is going to get me a i <3 skater boys shirt from S&&B and that will make me happy.

here's a list of kids i got to see yesterday:
emily
jackie
katie
kurt <3
dillon maple
jake (w// the food in his mouth lol)
kristin <3
random kid who wanted to play strip poker
kids from park... woot... uh.huh not rilly.

that was all just from the mall. and i was really only sposed to see 4 of those people, so i'm pretty content with myself. but i think that i'm going to go for now. have a wonderful night everyone
.mae.

so i have absolutely no idea what the title is for, but i haven't updated in a while and i can officially say that there's a lot i have to write about... well, first of all, me and doug broke up about 2 1/2 months ago... yay cause he was a complete douche by the end of it. he decided to fuck around w// other girls and thought i woulnd't find out about it... w/e. i'm not stupid. many things but not stupid. i tried dating john but that didn't work. we talk every once in awhile (he looks wonderful in swim trunks thou ;)).

the 1st semester of freshman year is completely over and i'm pretty exmited about that, too. my schedule for this semester is as follows:
1. survey 1- kaebisch
2. US history- wiersum
3. gym- lenart
4. 9 lab- waltenberger
5. lunch
6. clothing and resources- ponshock
7. adv. draw//design 2D- meader
8. algebra 1- hoey

i'm not too fond of having english in the morning but stephanie and aaron are there, so it's all pretty damn good. last friday, i went to go see yellowcard w// kiki and her cousin krista... lemme tell you. i don't care how much people say they hate yellowcard, those kids can fucking play. for serious. gym isn't all that amazing, but i love to swim and ashley, katie, and karen are in my class (pretty damn cool if you ask me). i also have john in my swimming unit. i kno i have a boyfriend, but hey, if they can stare at me 1/2 naked, then i can do the same. it would be WAY more interesting if kurt were in my swim unit... or school... or grade. but no, i have to be dating the 8th grader at the real school.

oh yea, i'm dating kurtis again. only, get this: his mom is actually happy this time.and he's going to winter formal w// me... i'm happy with that. and it's going to be pretty fun. i'm just hoping he'll be able to get in if he's not in high school as long as he has his ID. and i think that chad (cori's brother) and teagan (<3) are going together and that should be kind of cute. so i'm pretty exmited. and the dress i'm getting... omigosh, the dress i'm getting. 144$ but completely worth it. i'm going to have to work my ass off to pay my dad back, but i want to look nice. it's my first actuall dance w// a date and everything so i don't wanna look like shit. all of my friends are going.. but kiki said she might not be going... that's sad for me cause i love kiki. i wish i knew more guys, but nope, i'm completely out of guys w/o GFs... so i can't get her a date. and that's sad cause she deffinately deserves one. i love kiki to effin death.

but i'm going to have to write more later cause i have other things i need to work on. i hope everyone has a wonderful night. <3
.katti.

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In February I didn't flush (-1 points). In July I gave luminous_lamp a Dutch Oven (-10 points). In April I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). Last Sunday I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points). In September I bought porn for partymonster187 (10 points). Overall, I've been nice (326 points). For Christmas I deserve a new dolly! Sincerely, stencilinaheart

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

when i was 12, i lost my virginity cause i was raped up north when my mom first moved in with my soon to be stepdad. great way to start a new family right? and nobody knew about it until last year. they're so oblivious sometimes. but that's ok. it's not their fault. i never wanted anyone to kno. it was me being ashamed. but i wasn't hurt, thankfully. i decided that wasn't the way it should go and i should loose it when i was ready, there's always something called a second chance, right?

well, i took this second chance when i was 13. yep. dumb fuck katti i am. but w/e. that's not the point. i lost my virginity for real because i was afraid the guy i was with would dump me. did you kno that's why about 1/2 of the girls in the united states have sex at a young age: pressure? yea, i kno. it's horrible. but i lost it cause all this guy would ever say was 'of all the girls i could be with, i chose you.' and i thout that made me special. really what it made me was a dumbfuck girl that wanted to make someone happy. he kept making me feel like i owed him something. so one day, i just gave into it. i didn't kno what else to do. i didn't wanna be going through what i was going to.

thinking about it yesterday, the only thing i could think to do was cry. and so i had to talk to someone about it. doug didn't wanna hear it. i don't kno why either, but he didn't. i told teagan... some of it. i didn't tell her all of it because i didn't think i should have. but yes, now that you all kno what's wrong, maybe you won't always be so mean to me when we get on topics like cori, or sex or what not. knowing now that i will never have that one moment where everything is perfect literally kills me and almost did. and no, this isn't for pity. it's for truth and knowing.

guys should take interest (and even girls too) that you should never do something because you're afraid of what someone will think, but because you kno you want to. and you should never do something for the one your with unless you really love them. and i kno i never did... and i never will. and that really really kills me every day to kno. so, renember that, please.<<3 g'nite

so today wasn't that great. i was supposed to have an interview with a modeling agency, but that fell through because my dad decided not to wake up at 3 like he was supposed to so when i went up there at 3:45, he said we wouldn't make it there in time. so i didn't get to go to that, but hopefully they'll call us back and we can reschedule. but the casablancas place wants to give me a scholarship for their school, so i might decide to go there instead. it's a lot closer and whatnot, so i think that might be a good idea. it's just that my dad really let me down today. we were supposed to go.

i wouldn't be so mad if he hadn't have told me like 20 minutes after we were supposed to go. i could have went and seen my boyfriend today. but now, i don't kno when i'm going to see him next because he might be grounded for 7 months or something like that. when i found that out, i broke down. i don't kno why. if it happens, i kno i'm gonna wind up breaking down again. it's way too hard. but i kno i would never leave him for that. it's not worth loosing him over. but that's ok. i can do it. my friend bob said he would somehow make a clone of doug and give me the real doug so i can keep him cause he doesn't like to see me sad. i love bob. he's such a cool kid. but i'm gonna go. <<3 more later mabey

so today, we're sposed to be going to milwaukee because i have a job interview with another modeling agency... yea cause i'm just that great ::mirror breaks::http://www.barbizonmodelingandacting.com/ that's the website for any of you that would like to check it out. but anyways... i'm not so sure if i'm going to be going to the interview today because my dad doesn't kno if he's going to be wanting to drive all the way down there. that AND we got a letter from John Casablancas, another agency, saying that we can get a scholarship for there, so we're going to call them back and see what's up with that.

i want to see doug today sooo badlike. but i kno i'm not gonna be able to go over there cause my dad's not waking up till 3PM and then we gotta go a little bit after that. if we don't go to the interview, me and doug wanted to go see a movie. but i kno that we won't be able to do that cause he's sposed to go snowboarding and whatnot, so i don't think that's going to happen either. but maybeh we'll go see a movie. it's just that, after tomrow, i don't kno if he's gonna be in a lot of trouble or not. i hope he's not cause if he is, then he's gonna be grounded and if he's grounded, then he can't see me, and then what's gonna happen?! i'm so confused. i don't want him to get into trouble.

i don't really kno much of what's going on... but i do kno that lou and i are still married, thankgod. but the thing is, her and kevin are getting married too. but that's ohk cause on friday, i was officially married to john's left arm... mwahaha john can't jack off with his left arm anymore. he has to use his right arm... which is teagan's arm, so in your face teagan: better make sure he washes his hand...lol

so yea, friday was fun. i made john come into our lunch hour... which really didn't take much cause he's all into me and what not... but that's not a big deal cause i've got me a doug and he makes me feel all good inside... like ornge juce. but anywho... we wrote all over johns arm with things like 'i heart katti' 'teagan's the pimp shit' and i drew a cupcake and he thought that was amusing... so did i. and in 4th hour, we were all being passy-notie like and so i found out that he pretended to have a girlfriend so this girl he likes would get jelous... and he was all like [in the note]: i like you. and then he said 'i'm not going to ask her (i forgot her name) out if you like me because if you and your boyfriend break up (ha!) and i'm going out with her, it wouldn't work.

now, in all honesty, that's cute. but i don't think me and doug are going to be breaking up soon. i hope we're not at least cause i'm really into him and  i love him to death. so yea. that's all i got for now. i'll write more later cause i actually have something to say. but there's no time now.<<3

so today, i went to bed around 2AM and then i had to wake up at 7AM which turned out to be 7:30AM and then we left at about 8:15AM to go to gurnee for the day and go SHOPPING! so i got some new clothes. we love clothes. they make me feel all good inside. so i got 3 pants, 3 shirts, and the awsomest hoodie in the world with the lovely jack skellingtons face on my hoodie. so i'm pretty excited about that.

hopefully tomorow, i'll get to see doug. i want to see him so bad right now. i miss him so much. i'm not going to be able to go to the concert tomorow and i'm not sure if i'm going to reschedule my interview for the barbozan place cause we might try going back to the casablancas agency because we got something saying that they want me there and they want to give me a scholarship for there... so i might try that. either way, i'm trying to get a job with one of them. no matter how much it sounds plastic and whatnot, but i really want to try this. it sounds like something that could be interesting.

me and teagan are going to go job-hunting and then we're gonna get a job cause the one i have now really doesn't pay... literally, it pays nothing cause it's a volunteer job. i don't kno how long i'm gonna be able to keep up with that. but i'm gonna try so hard cause i made a commitment.

wanna kno another commitment? doug... so much easier to keep up with cause i love doug. he's so great. we love him so much... we being me who should cound for more than one cause i love him so much. <<3 i don't know why but it's so different then everyone else i've ever been with. even thou i asked him out a day after i met him, it's not like i didn't kno him. the first time i saw doug... it was amazing. seriously. like one of those 'omigod' moments.

but i think im gona go to bed. g'nite.

ME && KIKI'S CONVERSATION ON THE MATTER.
shynessisavirtue: i have bad news
Sweetahearta210: what?
Sweetahearta210: do i wanna know?
shynessisavirtue: mahbey
Sweetahearta210:
Sweetahearta210: will i sad?
Sweetahearta210: will i be*
shynessisavirtue: i am.
shynessisavirtue: i think that me and doug are going to break up
Sweetahearta210: NOOO
Sweetahearta210: WHY?!
shynessisavirtue: we never talk.
shynessisavirtue: we never hang out
Sweetahearta210:
shynessisavirtue: he doesn't really seem interested.
shynessisavirtue: and it makes my heart hurt.
Sweetahearta210:
shynessisavirtue:
Sweetahearta210: well it makes my heart hurt to hear that.
shynessisavirtue: thats me all the time [facial expression[
Sweetahearta210: im sorry..
Sweetahearta210: you should really try to work it out with him.
shynessisavirtue: i have been for the past month, i have been.
shynessisavirtue: but it's just getting harder and harder.
shynessisavirtue: in the past 4 days, we haven't even talked a total of a half an hour.
shynessisavirtue: the last time i saw him was at the concert, and he didn'twant to see me
shynessisavirtue: ... i didn't wanna see him either.
shynessisavirtue: the last time we hung out by ourselves was 3 weeks ago
shynessisavirtue: the last time we hung out at all was 2 weeks ago
Sweetahearta210:
Sweetahearta210: Well, maybe things will get better.
Sweetahearta210: maybe if you just hold up long enough things will get better.

ME && BOB'S CONVERSATION ON THE SITUATION AND OUR SCEMEING ONE-NIGHT-STAND...LOL
shynessisavirtue: oh those were lyrics form fromirst to last. and it wasn't me who put that up there. it is a joke to see if my boyfriend will finally notice that i kinda wanna break up with him, but i dont.
shynessisavirtue: very confusing stuff
WintersBreath88: guess so.
shynessisavirtue: i spose
WintersBreath88: kinda messed up if I understood that right
WintersBreath88: you wish to break up with him?? but really, you do not wish to?
shynessisavirtue: i think we should cause we never talk, we never hang out, and he's into other girls.
WintersBreath88: ouch
shynessisavirtue: yea.
shynessisavirtue: but i do't wanna break up with him cause i don't liike tha tthought
WintersBreath88: afraid to do it? don't like break ups or just like him to much?
shynessisavirtue: i am afraid of 4 things. one of them is being alone.
shynessisavirtue: and it's basically like, with out him, i'm alone again, and it takes me along time to build up a trust that i can depend on... which is why i don't think i should have gone out with him because we got together like 2 days after i actually met him- met him
WintersBreath88: ok.
shynessisavirtue: makes sense?'
WintersBreath88: perfect sense.
shynessisavirtue: thats good
WintersBreath88: I did something crazy like that once before too.
WintersBreath88: knew a girl for five hours.
shynessisavirtue: really?
shynessisavirtue: nice.
shynessisavirtue: ...and then you fucked her?
shynessisavirtue: lmao... that's horrible to think about
WintersBreath88: it was one of those very desperate moments. nope.
WintersBreath88: I didn't not have sex with that girl.
shynessisavirtue: THAT girl?
WintersBreath88: lmao
WintersBreath88: that came out wrong.
shynessisavirtue: good to kno your not a virgin... now i can count on you for 'one of those very desparate moments'
shynessisavirtue: lmao. jkjkjk
WintersBreath88: of course you can. lol.
shynessisavirtue: ofcorse.
WintersBreath88: hmmm.
shynessisavirtue: you live like 3 blocks away, and if you haven't changed your number then i have it still...
shynessisavirtue:
WintersBreath88: mwahaha!
WintersBreath88: then you still have it.
WintersBreath88: well, to be truthful about yer dude.
shynessisavirtue: my dude?
shynessisavirtue: ohk. doug.
shynessisavirtue: right then go on
WintersBreath88: if you don't think you two should be together, you probably shouldn't be. if he is into other chicks?? well, thats gonna happen no matter what. if he is interested...well thats different.
shynessisavirtue: i don't kno anymore.
WintersBreath88: as for being alone, I can garauntee a girl like you will have guys drooling over you.
WintersBreath88: even if you don't know it.
shynessisavirtue: uhhuh.
shynessisavirtue: 'a girl like me', eh?
shynessisavirtue: do i wanna kno what you mean by that?
WintersBreath88: well.. my white lie or my honest?
shynessisavirtue: BOTH.
shynessisavirtue: honest first
WintersBreath88: honest first?
shynessisavirtue: yes pelase
shynessisavirtue: *please
WintersBreath88: quite frankly. your drop dead gorgeous to me. your funny as all hell. and fun to be with.
shynessisavirtue: thanks.
WintersBreath88: white lie was.. fairy god mouse is watching out for you.
shynessisavirtue: i haven't heard all that in one in a while.
shynessisavirtue: thanks.
shynessisavirtue: for both.
shynessisavirtue: but, um, it doesn't say much for him, now does it?
WintersBreath88: say much for whom?
shynessisavirtue: doug.
shynessisavirtue: you've said nicer things to me in 2 minutes then he's said in a whole monh
WintersBreath88: thats sad.

**the blank spots are facial expressions that suck ass and won't show**

this just goes to prove that i'm not the only one that thinks that it's shit... that and apparently, i'm gorgeous? i am?! really that's so great. maybe i am. i doubt it thou. i think i have an absolutely horrible self image. but whatever. i have to get to bed very soon like. i'll write more tomrow.
g'nite<<3

yea, there aren't really violent bandanas. there really isn't violent anything today. i just got bored. i'm going to bed soon, so i'm not going to write much cause i still have to write to teagan about that one thing we were talking about having to do with that one person in that one place at that one school [not doug] and i wanna finish that tonight so i can get everything cleared out of my head so i don't have to worry about it this weekend.

speaking of this weekend. i'm so booked, i love it so much. there will be so much to do that i won't have to be worrying about that one thing that i'm trying not to bother myself with [yes doug]... it's all really confusing but if i'm going to write about that, i want to have the time to do it so it's all there and not so confusing.

saturday, i have to wake up at 7am and be ready to leave around 8:30AM cause we're going down to gurnee mills for shopping for new shit and a new outfit and shoes for my modeling deal. i got a new coat, sweater and cutsie shirt today, but i need more. i feed off of the way i look and no matter what, nobody can take that away from me. hell, i'd look good running around naked [let's not imagine that, shall we?]

then sunday, i have to go to my interview with the barbozon agency and then, hopefully, when that's done i'm going to go home and change and then go to the emery concert i've been dying to go to. if not, then i'll just catch the concert next weekend, i think it's...meh, i don't kno. i just had it too. slipped my mind. i'm a bit tired right now. there's nothing really else to do.

i think that me and doug's relationship is declining... we never talk or really see eachother. then there's that whole deal with the thing i have to write to teagan about, but we'll save that for another day cause i'm actually going to head off cause i have nothing else to say. g'nite<<3

 

meh i'm not rilly in a good mood anymore. there's nothing to do really. but i do have a myspace...so i figured i could put that into a linky mabob cause there's nothing better to do right now... meh:
www.myspace.com/favor_me_last i'm constantly using it, so you can always check that out.

i'm bored and i want to talk to doug. there's nothing better to do when you're bored then to talk to doug... maybe to go on the comp. but hey, doug's just as good, right? i love him so much. but that's besides the point. i usually call him when i gets bored...(not to be mean)... but now i can't call him because he's being bummy and doesn't wanna talk. i would call someone else, but that would actually mean that i have to talk to someone and the only person i'm really wanting to talk to now is doug. so... it's not a very good situation for this katti right now, but w/e.

you live you learn... and then you kill yourself cause you learn that living isn't good. yes, i kno you envy my creativity and morbidity... is that a word? i don't think so. oh well. it is now. but anyways. i was talking to steffne about pies. she thinks that apple pie is good and i don't. i think that punkin pie is good, and she thinks it tastes like dog... the resolution, we both like cherry pie. that's good, right? cherry pie is a good thing. but now, we've decided that mincemeat pie sucks ass.

shynessisavirtue: what about mincemeat pie?
shynessisavirtue: that= bad
NewAutumnRomance: YUCK thats in our book in english
shynessisavirtue: what mincemeat pie?
NewAutumnRomance: idek
NewAutumnRomance: ahha
NewAutumnRomance: it sounds sick
shynessisavirtue: i kno. it's a meat filled pie
NewAutumnRomance: SICK
shynessisavirtue: i kno. but it's not like potpie (which is also bad) cause all it really is is meat
shynessisavirtue: that and some weird meat gravy like shit
NewAutumnRomance: yucck thats nasty
shynessisavirtue: this goes to show that pie should only be made of fruit like substances and nothing else.
NewAutumnRomance: fer positive.anything in pie thats not that is nasttty
shynessisavirtue: like meat?
shynessisavirtue: yes
NewAutumnRomance: yuckc def
shynessisavirtue: i kno

this just goes to prove that there are some sick ass people in this world who have decided that meat should go in pies. no. you kno where meat should go?!: not on pies. that's about all i got from that conversation. that and i need new socks... but that was obvious.